Spiritus Creative

Finally!  A quiet moment alone.  I enter my “office”.  My desk is completely mobile, with just two legs.  I take it with me everywhere I go. Today it is blanket shrouded legs crossed upon the couch. This first day of the new year it supports 3 journals, a calendar, four books and 12 assorted colors of gel pens.

Here I am most at home.

I hear the shovel scrapping the front sidewalk. Reminding me to be thankful for the snow, that  gave me this moment of freedom.  The world is outside, lifting crystals of ice.  I feel the pressure of a lone paw.  The slow steady pressure as if to say, “You are ready for me? Now?”

Down she burrows, after the proper kneading. Smiling, I pick up the journal, with just two pages left in it and awkwardly without disturbing the over-feed feline write:

I have not found my word.  In the last 24 hours since I printed the children’s activity page   boldly stating at the top, “Looking forward to 2014. My ONE word is  _________.” I have been thinking, searching for my ONE word. Andre filled it instantly, as if he knew his whole eleven-year old life what he would write, if ever presented with page such as this. His word, LIVE.

      Here I sit 24 hours later. I am still struggling.

I have a list. It seems to get longer not shorter.  I try one word on for a while, wear it around – then find it too tight, too constricting.  Then I go to the next, just like that funny bear in Old Hat, New Hat by Stan Berenstain.

Here is my list so far:

Joy

Bold

Magnify

Surrender

Yield

Dwell

Wonder

Listen

Depend

Rely

Rest

Presence

I realize I am looking for a word to sum up this idea from John Piper, “Declarations of what you intend to do by sheer dint of will-power are not what the Christian life is. The mystery of holiness is that we live our lives in the strength of another, we walk by spirit, by faith in the power of another, we depend on another to do in us what needs to be done, so another (that is God) gets the glory.”

Inside my head I hear, Who is limiting you to ONE word?

I answer, That page.  Well, me.

I get it. I really do.  Instantly I am relaxed, as if 2014 can start now.  I pick up the blue gel pen. Open the new journal and write my “word”.

I will live my life in 2014 relying fully upon the strength of God. I will depend on Him to do in me what needs to be done.   I will be joyful because He will get the GLORY.