I found this post almost a year to date from starting this position. I never posted it. I wonder why? It’s good. I needed to read it as I start year “2”.
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My goal as a “newbie” youth director.
Make it to Thanksgiving Break.
Perhaps it seems silly, but just days way from Thanksgiving – I decided to let this goal go. My grip was so tight, my fear so great that like a child holding the string of a helium balloon, I opened my clenched fist and watched the sky. But the goal that was REALLY in my head, which was more dangerous, which I never spoke to anyone was really this:
Make it to Thanksgiving without failing, without getting tired and grumpy, without anyone angry at you while making God known to your youth through always meaningful programming,
Umm…yah God is treating me currently as I have the disease of perfectionism. Just days before the last youth meeting. I let it go. I said “Nope, I don’t want complete control. I surrender my goal.”
So I am here to say I made it to thanksgiving and here is what I learned:
* The Grace of God got me here. Not a destination but a point on my journey during which I can stop and breathe and look.
* When on the RUN the gifts of God are often missed and always blurry. In stopping we SEE.
* Making Jesus Known is my calling, no doubt.
* I have had exactly 15 hours of knowing I have no strict obligations regarding youth programming till December 3 and I am ready to do it again.
* The benefits of serving God ALWAYS out weigh the costs.
I think the real fear was that I would find out this was NOT what I wanted to do. I doubted what everyone near me and God already knew. Forgive me Lord for my doubt, because I mistakenly thought this was UP TO ME and the lesson apparently I can never go through enough is this very lesson.
The GRACE OF GOD is and always will continue to carry me. Though tiny details and obedience are certainly my responsibility, the big weightiness of making God known is not mine.
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